YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
what day is it and did you see me today?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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