College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it was like eating out sand paper
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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