Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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