Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
