We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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