i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just pee around me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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