I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
