do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
