oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
