You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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