He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
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That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
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Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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