then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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