Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
A+ Viking dick
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
