My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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