I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
