Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
