I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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