Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
