Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just pee around me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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