He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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