Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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