i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
