a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
People with herpes should wear stickers.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize