Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
