My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize