your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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