She's JV to your varsity
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
