We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
