so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
