she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
