I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
