piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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