and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I woke up under a house in Key West
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