I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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