just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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