My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have feelings that need drinking.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
