If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
