do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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