last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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