I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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