You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
