don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
