working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
