Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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