it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I want to be your penis for a week.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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