omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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