Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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