Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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