both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
