I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
