I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
