She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
