I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
