"it" just moved
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
