She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
