dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
