I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
