She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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