She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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