a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I've blown a few things in my day
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
