you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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