My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
