you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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